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Judgement play - Bioshock InfiniteIrrational Games. Dahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Irrational games is right, because that describes the decision by Ken Levine to shutter the studio hot off the success of Bioshock infinite, or so I thought.
I bought BioShock infinite as part of the humble 2K bundle, which featured the Bioshock trilogy. I bought it because most, if not all other game reviewers seem to have played a jewel-encrusted golden gift from the treasure vaults of Xerxes, but I played a game that I'd probably only have considered renting if it weren't for that bundle and irrational's demise at the hands of that maniac Ken Levine. Part of the problem maybe because I’m playing Bioshock Infinite first, which I think is a prequel to the original Bioshock.
Anyway enough blabbering. This is my third paragraph and I haven’t even started talking about Bioshock infinite. Basically you're Booker DeWitt, a former pinkerton agent who is sent to retrieve a woman named Elizabeth Comstock, who is being held in s
Judgement play - Game dev tycoonRight then i'm back from my Computer games boot camp, which was disappointing because no games companies were there, just google and autodesk. now to follow it up with more disappointment in the Form of Game dev tycoon.
Game dev tycoon came out in the far flung ancient days NOT! (BOOM!)
Is everyone alright? of 2013. it is a game in which you run a games company, which is nice if you didn't have to research sequels (it sounds ridiculous, i know right?) another flaw I that there are no arcade cabinets so you cant be like midway or namco and you cant make multiplatform games. Consoles take on fictionalized identities, so sega becomes vena but theres no equivalent to their saturn or mega drive addons. Fictitious analogues to 3DO and Atari are missing, though they're probably in a mod, ditto with competing software houses.
Now for the verdict. For guilty we have no multiplatform development, having to research sequels (in the 80's are you serious greenhart games?) and countless others i won
Judgement play - No trial this weekNo review this week as i'm on holiday. I have to go on a DAY LONG excursion to some place in the outback near broome. I so very much regret it.
Judgement play - Post-KH mailbag showdownBefore I start reading hate mail from kingdom hearts fans, I picked up the beta for Battlefield Hardline, then I put it down again and left it to rot for being the same as the last battlefield game i played, then again its a beta so I wont give it a verdict. So without further ado, go team retard!
“first kingdom hearts was great, it was like playing a lil disney movie
second kingdom hearts was just ANOTHER JRPG WIT ALL THA FLASHY EFFECTS AND BIG OL KEY WHACKAMAJIGGERS
but i swear if they come out with darth vader and iron man for kh3 crett is OUTTA HERE KH IS DEAD TO ME”-Crett, DeviantArt.
One, I haven't played any of its sequels. Two, Kingdom hearts was never alive just a rotten corpse that never truly lived.
“God almighty, those reasons are dogshit.
"First, it's a Disney/Final Fantasy crossover. Horrible, isn't it?"
Waah, muh anime being ruined by Western animation!
"Secondly, there's no easy mode."
Boo hoo, it's too difficult. I'm such a casual!
Judgement play - E3 2014I was going to a a mailbag showdown with the kingdom hearts fandumb but I also have to review E3, yes I’m reviewing a whole games conference instead of a single game.
First off Microsoft, who in a pleasing reversal preceded by removing the Kinect from the xbone, dedicated their entire conference to games, even their one of their new TV shows, which they were faffing on about at last years E3 was about a game (Some sort of prequel to Halo 5: Guardians). However, there have been rumours about an xbox 360 emulator for the xbone but this has not been confirmed by Microsoft due the the company being run by legendarily thick executives or none of the press at E3 got around to asking them about it, though you can ask Microsoft to get this emulator going along with an emulator for the original xbox at xbox.uservoice.com. A no contest verdict for Microsoft
Now to sony, pretty much the same but they were also talking about PlayStation Now, an attempt to scam customers into paying for digit
Judgement Play - Battlefield 3Battlefield 3 is a war game alright, a war on the player!
Firstly, there’s no health meter so you don't know when to run to cover. Secondly, there’s no health or ammunition packs (then again it's probably aiming to be more realistic than Call Of Duty and Team Fortress 2). Thirdly, the multiplayer isn’t as lively as Team Fortress 2 and finally the much touted destructo-physics are disappointing, I tried to blow up a construction site in multiplayer with a tank but the building stood still. No explosion. No collapsed building. Nothing.
And now for the verdict. For Guilty we have no health meter, boring gameplay, both in campaign and multiplayer and broken destructo-physics. For innocent we have good graphics and no contest we have nothing.
I hereby find Battlefield 3 guilty. That's the first game to receive a guilty verdict form me.
Prepared for battle: Jack "umatbru" Blake
Presented by DeviantArt.com
Battlefield by Jordin Sparks
Yes, i now write my reviews like
Judgement play - Goat SimulatorCouldn't keep away from this game forever, could we? Certainly fucking can't here on the internet, the gaming sub on reddit went crazy over this game etc etc etc.
So Goat Simulator then, It's a game by coffee stain studios where you play as the goat, exactly as it says on the tin. You go around smashing shit in an unnamed town. It's infinitely fun, though its limited by the small map, sometimes non functioning controls (i'm playing it on a laptop) and poor graphics, for I had to get the graphics down to fast to get 60fps.
And now for the verdict: For guilty we have small map, poor graphics and poor controls, for innocent we have good gameplay and being outright fun and for no contest we gave nothing.
Normally I would give it a guilty verdict, but because I like this game, i'll give it a no contest.
Judgement play BanishedOh dear god, I almost forgot about this game. so this is going to be short.
Banished is a strategy game by shining rock software, presumably the only game by that company. It is a city building thats not quite like simcity. for example you need to gather resources as if it were a proper RTS eye eee Age of mythology. another is that... uhh...
anyhoo the game seems to be a bit trial and error. in my first town my civilians died because of the lack of food, so for my second i cleared out the resources. then laid up some farm and a fishing dock, then a few months later everyone started inexplicably starving again. Who know what this reminds me of? DARK SOULS! AND I HAVENT EVEN REVIEWED THAT GAME YET!
and now for the verdict. For guilty we have trial and error gameplay. for no contest we have alright graphics and for innocent we have innovative mix between rts and management strategy.
I hereby find banished a no contest.
APH: Tips for female Italian names for the ItaliesI’ve noticed there’s some confusion in the fandom about Italian female names fitting for the Italies so let’s clarify some things.
The so called ‘official’ names, Alice and Chiara, aren’t official names. They were suggested to Himaruya by a fan and he shared the suggestion but later on made a post in which he declared he didn’t want to make them official, just to share them and that everyone was free to use whatever he prefers.
So of course, for all Himaruya cares you can use Russian names or Martian names for them. However, if you want to use Italian names that will better point out how those two characters are representations of Italy and not of some other country here there are some things that might interest you.
Let’s start with the name suggested:
Alice and Chiara are two Italian popular names.
Many seem to have the idea Alice isn’t an Italian name because it’s written in the same way as its English version. Well,
Review: TDPI character developmentSo here's my review for Total Drama Pahkitew Island! WARNING: SPOILER ALERT
The overall casting was pretty cute and interesting, despite the fact that people say that most of them appear flat and one-dimensional. However, I beg to differ as quite a few of them have great character development. One of the most remarkable thing about this season is the increased versatility of the protagonists and antagonists: No one is purely good or evil.
Rightfully, the first four contestants eliminated didn't have much character development:
Beardo and Leonard were pretty much just fillers. Don't really think there's much to say about them, seriously. Amy is a villain as she is mean towards her sister, but apart from that, she is not much but a stepping stone to Samey's development. And Rodney is just plain weird.
Samey is the shadow twin of Amy. Her life is so damaged and bullied by Amy that she just accepted that. When Jasmine prompted her to stand up to Am
Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars Review Prologue
DISCLAIMER: I want you guys to keep in mind that this is NOT a review of the crossover itself. It is a description of what the crossover is about, how it came to be, and what I am looking forward too as well as my thoughts on the information so far. To those who have seen my prologue to my Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel review, you are probably aware of that. The review of the crossover itself will probably be up sometime in late June or early August depending on when I do see it. And like Phineas and Ferb Save Summer, it is gonna air on demand but I do not know if I will be able to see it on demand. I was lucky with Save Summer but I don’t know if I will be able to see the crossover on demand. But hey I will be able to see it on Saturday if ti comes to that. It will be worth the wait. But with that said, sit back and read my thoughts on what I think of the idea and premise of Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars. Enjoy.
A long time ago….In a galaxy far FAR away
A Guide to ConventionsIt’s coming around to be just about the end-ish of convention season and most of the major cons around where I live are coming up, and I’m getting pretty hyped about Otakon coming up in 17 days myself! So, what better way to feed into the hype than to make an advice list?
1. Bring your own food
Speaking from experience here! Convention food is pricey and all around not worth it. If your hotel room doesn’t have a mini-fridge, bring non perishable things like trail mix, granola bars, jerky, generally healthy stuff. Most hotel rooms will have something like a coffee maker or a microwave. Take advantage of this! Bring instanoodles and ramen with you. Your wallet will thank you for it. Or if you don’t want to do that, try the app called Yelp to see what’s in the area. It is important that you eat at least two square meals a day, especially since at a convention, you’re going to be on your feet basically all the time. Keep yourself energized.
My Star Wars Fan Questionnaire AnswersJedi or Sith?
Jedi, but I don't much care for the "no attachment" rule. Mace can lick my lightsaber for all I care, I'm NOT turning Dark anytime soon.
Let's see: There's Tatooine, Manaan, Tython, Coruscant, Kamino, Mustafar, Taris, Dantooine, Kashyyyk, Nar Shaddaa, Alderaan, Hoth (even thought I HATE the cold,)and Geonosis.
Type of lightsaber, Lightsaber color and fighting style?
Single bladed straight hilted saber outfitted with cortosis to ensure that it doesn't get snapped in two during a fight. Color would be blue. My fighting styles would mostly consist of Shii-Cho and Ataru, while blending and modifying the two styles to fit the needs. I'd also apply a little Djem-So when in a pinch and would try to take up Vapaad. Probably one of the few things I actually respect Mace Windu for. The other being his purple lightsaber.
I'm kind of partial to Wookiees, Geonosians and Talz. I also like Selkath, Togruta, Twi-leks, Ithorians and Ortolans. I also kind
LOK: Old Wounds/Original Airbenders Review
Hey everyone. Welcome yet to again my another review of the recent Legend Of Korra episodes! Without further ado, let us begin!
What I Liked
Korra & Bolin Metalbending
Korra learning to Metalbend was a smart move because when you think about it her not knowing it is a significant gap in her bending vocabulary. It’s certainly questionable that Lin or no one else through to teach her this, but now Suyin is teaching her the basics and – being the Avatar – she gets it quite quickly.
Bolin on the other hand has apparently tried and failed in the past but desperately wants to. It’s a bit out of nowhere – as is Toph being his idol – but it’s comething I can get behind. I love Bolin, but I realise now that the way the creators are developing Bolin is that they seem to be throwing whatever they have and hoping it’ll stick, and naturally Bolin learning Metalbending is something that can stick.
Suyin/Lin Beifong Conflict
Steel sighed as he entered a room. He was, oddly enough, dressed in a gray uniform and had a dirty blonde wig.
“Well, GREAT, Ray. The entire costume party’s ruined.” Steel growled, stomping through his house in irritation as he entered a room, “I thought we agreed that I was going to be Luke Skywalker and YOU were going to be the evil, dark, sinister relative who’s always trying to control me. Y’know, like how things ACTUALLY work.”
At that instant, the lights shut down before being replaced by a dull, red light. Steel heard a familiar breathing noise and turned to see someone clad in a Darth Vader outfit. Oddly enough, a black beret was perched on his head.
“You have learned much, Young Steel...” Ray said, “But you are not a critic yet.”
Steel pulled out a lightsaber and turned it on, unsheathing a bright blue lightsaber. Ray did the same, only with a red one. Steel swung his blade as Ray blocked with his own. Steel beg
Cult Corner Review - The Starving Games
Welcome to Cult Corner, the co- oh fuck it, I'm not gonna bother with an intro…
How is this even on Netflix? Why is it even on Netflix? Is it because it's available through all other rental sources and you just needed to convince people to join on your services? Cause that's worth your money right?
Why am I even wasting my time with this garbage? I'll tell you why, it's because Dim432 did not do this movie justice.
Oh go ahead and read his review, I'll put a link down below even, but know that if you are going to read it, expect a review that is practically a rip-off of the Nostalgia Critic's "The Last Airbender" review only without any actual humor or actual analysis to go with it.
And that is the real reason why I'm doing this review, to basically cover his ass and do what he SHOULD have been doing which was analyzing the movie rather than focusing on trying to emulate a Nostalgia Critic episode. This "Review" more than other he built up as being "the biggest thing" and
pet to a friendyou are at your best friends house and your and suddenly you black out and when you wake up you are still at your friends but your in a cage and then you try to get out of the cage then realize...your tiny! you start to freak out then see your friend walk in and try to get his attention and he just looked at you and smiled leaving you confused you try yelling his name then and he didn't respond then you looked and just sigh and sit down confused and frustrated then realize you have a tail...and ears....your a neko...his neko he got when he moved into his house from his mom!.....
what do you do
(you dont have to be a neko if you dont want to be you can be whatever you want as long as its humanoid and not stupid or you cold just be a tiny)
Judgement play - Kingdom HeartsDisney has bought out marvel and star wars, well that makes it 3 franchises ruined by disney. What's the third one you say? final fantasy. How? Kingdom hearts, whose long dreaded (Assuming you're a sane human being) and long awaited (assuming you're either retarded, bribed or working for square enix/disney) third installment will probably not be announced at E3. But kingdom hearts was a great game! Shut up you Square Enix sockpuppet and let me explain why kingdom hearts is one of, if not the worst game ever made.
First, it's a Disney/Final Fantasy crossover. Horrible, isn't it?. Secondly, there's no easy mode. no one has played this game before. Where do they start? Normal? Thirdly, The music is really annoying, especially in frustratingly bad games like this. Forthly, The graphics look kind of last (5th) Gen unless you turn on smooth textures in the PS2 BIOS. Fifthly, the controls are also bad, even by Japanese standards. you have to use the triggers to control the camera, and you use
A Bloody, Stupid Miracle The day we’d cured the human condition was the day I put a bullet through my head and didn’t die. It was also the day I realized how scared I actually was of death, and after hours of muscle ache from holding that gauze against my open skull, after the wound closed and everything went back to normal, I had myself a good old-fashioned brainstorm. How ironic.
But when summer came, everything had fallen to shit. The air scorched my skin and parched my tongue every time I took a breath. The sun glared down on a rapidly-collapsing world, full of the undying bastard children of cruelty and misfortune. What was one to do when their cells regenerated faster than they decomposed?
My feet hit the pavement, now littered with jagged bits of glass to snap at my toes, thoroughly baked by the blazing ball of bitter disdain high overhead. Today was worse than yesterday. Though I’d often wondered the purpose of it anymore, I
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