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Submitted on
June 7
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Disney has bought out marvel and star wars, well that makes it 3 franchises ruined by disney. What's the third one you say? final fantasy. How? Kingdom hearts, whose long dreaded (Assuming you're a sane human being) and long awaited (assuming you're either retarded, bribed or working for square enix/disney) third installment will probably not be announced at E3. But kingdom hearts was a great game! Shut up you Square Enix sockpuppet and let me explain why kingdom hearts is one of, if not the worst game ever made.

First, it's a Disney/Final Fantasy crossover. Horrible, isn't it?. Secondly, there's no easy mode. no one has played this game before. Where do they start? Normal? Thirdly, The music is really annoying, especially in frustratingly bad games like this. Forthly, The graphics look kind of last (5th) Gen unless you turn on smooth textures in the PS2 BIOS. Fifthly, the controls are also bad, even by Japanese standards. you have to use the triggers to control the camera, and you use a menu, IN A REAL TIME RPG! And finally there's no minimap so its very hard to find where you want to go.

But really, I don't know what I hope to achieve with all this. Kingdom hearts is already more popular than God, and nothing I can say is going to stop Square Enix and disney (assuming it comes to pick up it's money, it hasnt bothered to turn this game into a movie or a disney channel series) making enough money to buy Switzerland and reinforce the notion that all gamers want is dumb crossovers. What's next? My little pony meets Phantasy Star?

Anyway here's the verdict: For guilty we have everything, For Innocent we have next to nothing, and for no contest we have nice but unfitting theme song (Simple and clean by Hikaru utada). I hereby find Kingdom hearts guilty, obviously.

CREDITS
To Call him a Heartbreaker is an underestimation: Jack "umatbru" Blake

Presented by DeviantArt.com

Young grow old by Creed

Maybe you should call me heartless.
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:iconcowboybebop2:
CowboyBebop2 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
tl;dr: "DA GAME IZ TO HARD111" :iconbutthurtplz:
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:iconumatbru:
umatbru Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014
Too hard is an understatement, the game has no easy mode at all. What were they thinking?
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:iconcowboybebop2:
CowboyBebop2 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I was being sarcastic. Stare 
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:iconumatbru:
umatbru Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014
So you actually support my review?
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:iconcowboybebop2:
CowboyBebop2 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
No. Facepalm 
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:iconprofessormetallica:
ProfessorMetallica Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of butthurt.
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:iconcrett:
Crett Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
first kingdom hearts was great, it was like playing a lil disney movie
second kingdom hearts was just ANOTHER JRPG WIT ALL THA FLASHY EFFECTS AND BIG OL KEY WHACKAMAJIGGERS
but i swear if they come out with darth vader and iron man for kh3 crett is OUTTA HERE KH IS DEAD TO ME
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